Absence makes the heart grow fonder...right?

I don't even know where to start. This weekend has been a very interesting weekend and I wish I was able to give you details on every single thing that happened, but I can't. Some things will go with me to the grave....but don't worry, I was a good boy.

Anyway, the government sent my boyfriend to Singapore for a week and a half and it was bittersweet. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but at the same time, I was so lonely, that's when my friend Angel called me and invited me to a party. Her lesbian supervisor who wants very badly to get in her pants told her that she was throwing a party and would giver her Sunday off if she came. So she picked me up and we were on our way. When we got there, the house was really nice and when I got inside there were a lot of people. There was a guy who was sitting at the table playing cards who had a wife beater on and some jeans and he was staring at me. I didn't really notice him at first, but I eventually felt him staring at me. Girls were trying very hard to get at Angel, but weren't having too much luck. There were a few really pretty lesbians in the corner and they were all dressed to impress. One had an Hermes bag that's probably worth more than my car and I loved her. She and I laughed and talked and then she and I started taking shots of tequila. Bad idea.

"Hey come here," wife beater said to me,

"Why?" I asked,

I'll admit, he was cute and he had great lips and I'm a sucker for the chocolate men with great skin and a bald head

"Because I said so."

Normally when someone is confident it turns me on, but at that point I decided to ignore him, because he was a little too cocky and he needed to be trained. The pretty lesbians and I took three more shots and I was feeling great. Then I an amaretto and coke, then 2 orange pineapple daiquiris.

"You still ignoring me?" wife-beater asked,

"Who are you?" I said to him,

"Winston."

"Who wears a wife-beater when it's 30 degrees outside?" I asked,

"I get hot easily. I took my sweater off. You don't like what you see?"

"You're okay. Kinda built like my boyfriend."

"Oh, is he here?"

"No, he's in Singapore."

"The country?" he asked,

"No, the state." I said annoyed,

"Asshole," he laughed, "well just so you know, I'm a great interim boyfriend."

"Is that how you make a living?" I asked, "I thought that was called being an escort."

"You're funny, do I get your name?"

"Nope."

Just like clockwork...

"Kendal!" Angel said appearing out of no where, "How much have you had to drink?"

"That's not my name ma'am, who are you?" I said to her,

"Are you that drunk?" she asked,

"No dummy, I wasn't trying to tell Winston here my name."

They said you've been throwing drinks back like water."

"Oh, you're cute," she said to Winston, "I'm Angel."

"He's not into you." I said to her,

"Have you talked to Terry today?" she asked me,

"He knows I have a boyfriend." I said, "Go let one of the ladies in there play with your muff."

"You're so disgusting." she said,

Angel walked away and Winston said told me to take Everclear shots with him. I told him that there was no way I'd do that. Bad things happen when everclear gets in my system. VERY BAD THINGS.

"Come on, you can do it."

"If I drink that, I'll probably end up with your dick in me and that's the last thing I want right now and I'm already pretty tipsy. No thanks."

"Do I look like a rapist?"

"Actually yes." I said,

So after more drink and laughter and Winston trying to get at me all night, Angel eventually took me home. I was WASTED. I got on twitter and made a fool of myself and I'm still very embarrassed about that. ANyway, the next morning was not pretty at all. I had the hangover from hell and I had text messages from Winston. I was very mad that I gave him my number, but at the same time, I was very happy that I wasn't sexting with him.

Things got better. Water and gatorade do miracles for hangovers and I ended up getting a call from Angel again. A different lesbian supervisor is having a dirty santa sex toy party and she was invited. I don't know much about sex toys other than the dildo that...well nevermind that, but she and I went to the party and the food was great. Then Winston showed up. Who gave him and invite? Really?

I wasn't in the mood for alcohol so I didn't drink, but when the Dirty Santa game started, I had a blast. I actually got my gift stolen twice and I'm glad because they were pink double sided dildos and various pink vibrators, but I ended up with a huge bottle of lube and the four very nice and very expensive candles. :)

So there were two gay male couples there and they were actually really nice and very cute. I promise that both of the bottoms looked like Justin Bieber and one of the tops looked like Anderon Cooper while the other top looked like Jason Stackhouse from True Blood! Anyway, This other guy showed up and he wasn't too cute, but he wasn't really ugly. Anyway, he kept flirting with me and Winston didn't like it.

"Hey," Winston said to him, "I just got out of jail and I don't wanna go back for kicking your ass. Don't come near my boyfriend again." I couldn't help but laugh but the strangest thing happend. This horny flirtatious weirdo went over the the Justin Beiber/Anderson Cooper couple and flirted super hard with Anderson. Justin wasn't happy about it at all! But Justin didn't say anything. And this guy was touchy-feely, flirty, and just rude. He even told Justin that it was past his bedtime and he needed to go home. He also told him that he needed to stay out of grown-up conversations. I would have fought this dude if this were happening to me. Anyway, so we leave the party and Winston was actually really sweet. Angel was actually drunk and Winston volunteered to take us home. When we got to my house, he walked me to the door and actually tried to make sure I got in okay, but I wouldn't let him come in. He tried to kiss me and I let him kiss me on the cheek. I walk in the house and I got a strange feeling. I didn't hear my puppies bark and I immediately thought they were dead. I cut the alarm notification off and I ran over to their crates and they were missing. I was terrified. That's when I heard a noise upstairs and it wasn't the sound a puppy makes. It was the sound a person makes. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer I heard this person coming downstairs very rapidly and I got super scared. I was so afraid I dropped the knife and passed out. When I woke up, I was in the living room and Terry was trying to tell me he was just playing a joke on me. His boss let him come back from Singapore early. So it's good to know that if I'm ever put in a position where I'm about to die because of an intruder, I'll pass out.